Lisa's funeral

*** What follows is an excerpt from an email I sent to a friend of Lisa and Ayumi regarding Lisa’s funeral. Rewriting this would be like grinding salt into an open wound, so I’ve pasted directly. I trust, and hope, you will understand. ***

Please note: This is posted by Marc, a friend of Lisa and Ayumi, owing to Yumi’s current state.

“Lisa’s funeral was a non-religious affair so there was a ceremony led by principals of Lisa’s company, and some words from friends and colleagues; Rodney spoke, shakily, about his long association and friendship with Lisa. He spoke for almost thirty minutes and told a few stories that made me smile, and others that drove into my heart. Nobody in the room had a dry eye.

Yumi sat beside Lisa’s casket, her hand touching the wood and her head bowed, for the entire ceremony. She neither spoke nor looked at anyone and when it was over, a couple of us took her arm and led her to the car. She hasn’t said more than a dozen words since Saturday. Her grief is absolute.

At the crematorium things went quite quickly, and relatively painlessly, but the part afterwards, a traditional Japanese custom where relatives (usually, although Lisa had none) use chopsticks to retrieve remaining bones from the ashes, took place after a few hours and was harrowing. Yumi attended to this herself, with a little help from friends. It was such a relief when it ended.

And now, a few days later, Yumi is still not speaking much but she has taken some food and even slept a little. The company, Rodney especially, have been wonderful. While ‘officially’ Yumi was not related to Lisa, they understand the relationship and are taking pains to be sensitive. The reading of the will takes place tomorrow (Wednesday March 21st). I’ll wait for that to finish then I must return to Hong Kong.

As a sort of ‘biographer’ of Lisa and friend, albeit as creator of a fictionalized account as requested before her passing, I’ve been given access to events which would otherwise have been less open. It’s given me a chance, at least, to lend some comfort to Yumi.

Now that the funeral is passed, Yumi can begin to grieve properly and to, hopefully, recover. I always pass your wishes to her. She doesn’t show anything but I know it will help in the long run.”

Ayumi has a will of iron and an inner strength which has been tested to its limit of late. I, as many friends do, have confidence that she will draw strength from friends and from herself, and become the dazzling Ayumi with whom Lisa fell, so deeply and completely, in love. She may not be the same, but she will always be, Ayumi.